So when can one start going steady?

Human acts are for their end: to act rationally, one must have an end in mind, and orient his action according to that end. Now what is the end of courtship?

Marriage is the end of courtship, just as final purchase is the end of shopping (even when one is just window-shopping at the moment, he is normally looking forward to buying in the near future). Thus, when to go steady is a function of the decision ” approximate as it may be initially ” of when to get married.

As previously mentioned, most girls do not want to get married earlier than twenty-five; some even much later. Hence, the healthy age for girls to start going steady can be roughly computed:

25 years old (ideal age for marriage)“ 2 years (of courtship) = 23 years old at least

Nevertheless, girls can really be quite flexible in their target marriage age: as soon as they have the right fellow, they really can get married.

But not so with men, normally. Contemporary society imposes a minimum age for man to get married well ” i.e., the age when he is professionally stable and financially solid. He is expected to be able to set-up house immediately after getting married — at least to be able to rent a flat. Otherwise he will be forced to bring his bride to his parents home or move in to his in-laws home. As Christ solemnly said, quoting Genesis: For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife. (Mt. 19:5).

In our society, this age is about 28-30 years. It takes that much time for a fellow to graduate from college (21 years old), find a suitable job after trying several (25 years old), stabilize himself in that job and get a few promotions (28-30 years old). Nowadays a joint family monthly income of P30,000 would barely enable a couple to rent a humble apartment in the metropolis, or buy a low-cost house on installment somewhere in Calabarzon. Thus, the minimum age for a man to get into a serious relationship with a woman can also be computed:

28 years old (practical age for marriage) “ 2 years (of courtship) = 25 years old at least

Of course there are exceptions e.g., if either the fellow or the girl is a millionaire to start with (from inheritance or otherwise).