How long should the courtship be?

When I ask young ladies this question, they invariably answer "a long time". I always have to stifle a chuckle, since quite often the young lady in question would be in her late teens and "engaged", and of course most girls nowadays are not really contemplating marriage before their 25th birthday. This is quite logical, since most girls " at least in the urban setting " go to college, and would therefore want to experience a bit of their professional career before they settle down to the more serious business of raising up a family.

Hence, the young lady is not answering my question, but is rather thinking of how long it will take her to be old enough to get married. If she is only nineteen, and she wants to enjoy her professional career until she is twenty-five, it stands to reason that she and her boyfriend will have to wait at least six years before they can marry.

Rephrasing the question normally unravels the fuzzy logic. If you were twenty-six I ask and you start going steady with a twenty-eight year-old fellow who is professionally stable and well off, how much time do you think will you need to make up your mind about each other? She normally answers: A year.

This is the crux of the matter. A couple going steady are calling each other up daily on the phone, probably going to and coming home from office together, spending the whole weekend together, meeting each other's family it is a super-exposure to each other. If they cannot decide in a year or two whether they are meant for each other or not, there is something wrong with their thinking process.